Friday, March 11, 2011

Till Death Do Us Part or "Please Sir May I Have Another"

What's the definition of love? The literal definition is: a profoundly tender, passionate affection for another person. When two people in love choose to marry they promise to love, honor and cherish. Now the question is why does loving someone truly make it mandatory to exclusively love that person. Why does society deem it the rule of law that a couple in love must be monogamous. The question is why? Why do people choose a monogamous relationship? Could it be due to Spiritual Beliefs? The fact it's supposedly a sin to NOT be with strictly one person? A fear of sexually transmitted diseases? Is it truly wrong for two consenting adults in a commited relationship to decide that, though in love, they may have needs that cannot be totally fulfilled with strictly one person. If society could just look beyond the guilt factor laid on them their entire lives and actually peek into human biology, anthropology and sociology, the monogamous human appears as a very weird notion.

 We are mammals, and if we look to the mammalian world, just 3 to 5% of the about 5,000 species of mammals form lifelong, monogamous bonds - this is the case of beavers, wolves, gibbons, jackals, foxes, some bats, dwarf deer and antelopes(yes it helps to be married to a biologist). Most biologists say that strictly sexually monogamous species are almost non existent. Most mammals have just a social monogamy: they pair up to mate and raise offspring, but still have flings.

 Our closest relatives in nature, the monkeys have basically two type of mating systems: harems of females (polygamy), in which one male only mates with the females of the group (like in gelada monkeys, colobus monkeys or proboscis monkeys) or a promiscuous system, in which all the females mate with all the males (like in many macaques), as the males form coalitions (they do not compete or fight inside the group,
except for the hierarchy-establishing conflicts.

 Why is it such a dirty little secret if a couple decides they may want to be swingers, or in some cases fully polyamorous. If people are able to break through the veil of guilt heaped upon us by our churches, parents or even society itself and realize that they can enjoy, and in some cases thrive from, sexual and even personal relationships is it really such a bad thing.

 If we truly take into consideration the true nature of humankind can we really say if monogamy is really what mankind is truly meant for?


 

1 comment:

  1. Yes! Yes! Yes! I totally agree, not to mention it is well written and well researched. Everything is true, Humans are definately not biologically wired to be monogomous or infidelity would not be an issue.

    ReplyDelete